One Week Down...

I can't believe it's been a week since Stevie's diagnosis. Sometimes it feels like we've been at the Children's Hospital for months. The days go by fairly quickly, but progress feels slow. Some days we see no improvements and its easy for a mother to get anxious because I want to see him well right away. So I have to keep reminding myself that he just had his chest cut open 6 days ago! The kid will need time to feel like his old self. Although now I'm seeing signs of him coming back, so it's very reassuring. And when you think that its been just under a week, its a miracle he's come so far.

The big news yesterday was that Stevie got extubated - which means they took the big breathing tubes out. (I'm learning lots of new big words every day...) And his vital signs look fantastic! We are really thrilled about that. Once they pulled the tubes out, it was so nice to see his face again! It also meant that I got to hold him. We posted pictures of that all over Facebook, it was just such an exciting moment! After watching him lay in that bed for six days, not being able to comfort him, it felt so good to have him in my arms. I'll be honest, when I first picked him up, I felt like he was a different baby or something. Not only did he look different (his face is still REALLY puffy from his surgeries and all the fluids they've given him), but I'd missed almost a week of bonding time and babies just change so quickly. I didn't have the immediate warm fuzzies I expected to. And I was nervous handling this new little person. It really disappointed me and I felt like a terrible mom thinking I'd have to get to know him again. But after a few moments of staring at him and inspecting every inch of his little body, I started to remember. He smelled the same and when I kissed those little lips over and over, there was no denying he was mine.

Today has had some more success, as he has started eating...kind of. It's been a little bit of a battle. It takes him a really long time to eat even the tiniest amount of food, when before he could eat like a champ. We will keep practicing, but sometimes it gets frustrating, because I know he's hungry, just doesn't quite remember what to do. Plus its got to be uncomfortable for him after having all sorts of things shoved down his throat for the past week. He'll get it eventually.

The husband and I are hanging in there. We are very tired and sometimes have a hard time in the mornings getting amped up to come to the hospital. It can get a little depressing every now and then. Luckily we've had a lot of support. Not only nice phone calls and messages, but also visitors have come to spend time with us - brought us meals and gifts for the little one, so that has been helpful. Just gets us out of the "Zone" for a while, ya know? But we have high hopes for getting out of here within the next week or so. We are looking forward to it and nervous about it at the same time. As if we weren't nervous enough bringing an infant home the first time!! Oy vey! This poor kid is gonna have some paranoid parents...

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