Guilt Trip

Just 4 more workdays to go until the switch! I am getting more excited by the day. When the bosses talk about all the surveys and paperwork and projects coming up, I just breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I won't have to worry about any of it! YES! To feel a sense of calm instead of a sense of panic is so great! It's been awhile.

Since I will no longer have a mini-van provided through work, hubby and I had to go look at cars this past weekend. We settled on a car that we have wanted for awhile, but didn't think we could afford. The Lexus IS250. Oh gosh, it is so cute! We test drove a couple other cars at Nissan and looked at an Infiniti. We originally wanted a Hybrid. But neither of us really liked the way they drove. We had almost made up our minds about getting a Nissan Maxima, but thought we should check out the Lexus again just to be sure. As we strolled through the dealership, we spotted a used 2006 that was closer to our price range than a brand new one. So we took it for a spin and both really liked it! Its a dark charcoal granite color, nicely equipped. And I'll be honest. I feel pretty cool and slightly more attractive when I drive it. Hahaha...

But there is something else that comes along with a brand new car - a little twinge of guilt. Hubby and I talked about how we kind of feel bad getting excited about it or showing it off to people because it seems like we're a little snobby driving around in a Lexus. And we always say first thing that it is used. Just to make sure people don't get the wrong idea or something. Neither of us come from families with any money, so its hard to come to grips with buying new cars or other expensive things, for that matter.

But I have decided that we deserve it! We both have worked so hard over the last few years and we should have things we want. Anyone should! I think that most people feel a little guilty on some level when they make big purchases or have fancy things. (Unless you just have an enormous sense of entitlement). I am guessing it is somewhat normal. I'm just going to try to enjoy the trip (minus the guilt) and appreciate that new car smell.

Well, its new to me!

The Little Things

When I go through my day and I'm working my normal, crazy schedule, I sometimes forget that I only have about 8 days of work left! I got an email from Human Resources letting me know that my exit interview is on my last day (April 4th) and I was like "Oh yeah! That is next week!!" It's really bizarre. There are still a lot of loose ends I have to wrap up, so its going to keep me busy. I also have a lot to learn with Home View, so I won't really have a break. Which is probably good. I have to keep the momentum up, so I am disciplined when I start working from home.

There are a few things about my old job that I'm going to miss, like:
- District Manager trips
- Free gas and no car payment
- Free tickets to sporting events
- The friends I've made

But now I will have so much more freedom to do other things, like:
- Go for morning walks with hubby
- Cook once in awhile
- Wear whatever I want
- Wake up at 6:30 (not 4:30)
- Snuggle with Gadoo
- Not sit in traffic every single day
- Drive a car & not a dirty minivan
- Take a break from physical labor
- Make my bed daily

Its those little things I'm really looking forward to. And as scary as things can be, it does bring me a lot of relief knowing my run is almost over. The last 6 months have been tough. And I know the next 6 months will be tough, but in a very good and different way.

A Good Problem to Have

OK. So there is about to be a big change in my life. The first thing you're probably going to think is that I'm pregnant. Sorry, no. Not yet.

But I am giving 2 weeks notice at my job tomorrow. I'm really nervous. My stomach has been in knots all day. It is almost like breaking up with someone. But a really good opportunity has come up and I've been so burned out at work, that the time just feels right.

About a year ago, my husband started a side business called Home View, LLC. (www.homeviewllc.com)
It is growing so quickly, we don't know what to do with ourselves. (A good problem to have!) We do high-end videos/photography/websites for realtors to get their listings some good exposure and get the homes or apartments sold quickly. The jobs have gone national and we are about to pick up another huge client. So if I don't step in, he is going to have to hire someone anyway.

I guess I'm so nervous because its all happening so quickly. There was a time when I thought I'd be at my current job for the rest of my career. I thought I might be a working mom. Then, I realized that maybe I would just stay there until I got pregnant - take advantage of my maternity leave and THEN help out with the side business. As I started wearing down, I thought that maybe I would just try to stay another 6 months. About a week ago, I decided I would only be there another 6 weeks. And NOW, here we are. Two weeks away from my last day!

But I guess I would have to be crazy to turn down something like this. I will get to work from home for a great boss! :) And it will benefit our future so much if we can keep the business going in this upward trend. It scares the crap out of me that I will have the responsibility of keeping the business successful, but hubby is so supportive and doesn't think its possible for me to mess it up.

Wish me luck...

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night

So I finally caved and got new glasses. The last time I had an eye exam was in November of 2005. I broke those glasses about 8-9 months later and haven't really been wearing any since. I was hoping to get Lasik, but I am not a candidate. I have the most trouble seeing at night because the halo effect on the lights makes them seem triple the size. If I was having a really hard time while driving, I would put on the broken ones - since the lenses are in tact, just the frames are bent out of shape - or I would wear my sunglasses at night just to reduce that glare.

I guess I kept putting off getting new ones because 1) I didn't realize how bad my eyes really were. I mean, I knew the night vision was bad, but during the day I function fine. 2) Glasses are flippin' expensive! and 3) I am a big enough dork without glasses, so I felt like a super dork with them. I don't look at other people in glasses and think they look nerdy. Just myself.

I have vision insurance through work and one of the places that takes it is LensCrafters. I thought that would be perfect, because the glasses are ready in an hour. Awesome for someone who loves instant gratification. And it was pretty easy!

The only part about the eye exam that is torture is the Glaucoma test. They have to puff air into your eyes and if you blink they have to do it over. Now how the heck are you supposed to keep your eyes open, knowing full well that they are going to puff air into it? Its really the anticipation that gets you. My heart was racing as I waited for the puff and as soon as I heard the machine release the air, it was hard enough not to pull my head away, let alone keep my eyes open! So I had to do that one a few times. It was sheer will-power and not wanting to do it again that got me through the process. Phew!

Its funny I didn't realize how much of a fog I was living in until I could see clearly. I sound like a Claritin commercial. But really. The moon and street lights look so much smaller. I could actually see the people on the court at a Clippers game. Our hi-def TV looks better than ever. It was so worth it to embrace my inner (and outer) dork!

A Map For Saturday

I am watching "True Life" on MTV. I don't usually advocate anything that plays on MTV. It is just the ultimate in junk. In fact, hubby and I decided our children will not even watch MTV until they can pay their own bills. However, this particular show is pretty interesting.

It basically documents one guy's journey as he travels the world for 341 days - the endless Saturday. He starts out in Australia and makes his way through Asia, Italy, India, Brazil, etc. One thing I found interesting was how many other world travelers he runs into. So many people who have just left their jobs or recently had breakups or just wanted to get away. They pack light and just see as much in a year as they can.

These world travelers have always intrigued me. I wonder if I would have the guts to drop everything I have ever known and just go for it! I wonder if I could give up the material possessions that I love so much. I wonder if I could handle sleeping in a different bed (and in a different country, for that matter) every few nights.

I have the travel bug and I like to think that I'd be able to do it, but it sure doesn't look easy. And I feel like if I actually did something like that - once I adjusted to a nomadic lifestyle - I'd never be able to go back to a normal life. To see such unique things and then come back to LA and have a job? I don't know. Coming back from a normal vacation is hard enough. I feel like I would want to travel for the rest of my life. Or at least live in a new place every 6 months.

Regardless of whether or not I could travel for a year, watching this show reminded me of our trip to Rome and Paris last year. I have never really documented it, and I wish I would have written in a journal or something. We have about a million photos (seriously, we acted like we discovered these places), so looking at those helps me remember. But mostly I remember the feelings I had while we were there. The feeling I had when we walked down a busy street in Rome and turned a corner to see the Coliseum or the Trevi Fountain. The feeling I had in Paris when I first saw the Eiffel Tower or the Mona Lisa. How cool I felt when I understood the metro system and thought I looked like a seasoned traveler. The Sistine Chapel, the Seine River, the Luxembourg Gardens, Monte Martre, the Pantheon. It was all just so amazing. I cried when we had to leave.

We had our share of ups and downs - from lost luggage to delicious food. From sore feet to great shopping. From boiling heat to unexpected rainstorms. From getting lost to accidentally finding a favorite landmark. But that's what makes it an adventure. I have perma-grin just thinking about it. *Sigh*

Anyone want to go on vacation?!