But listen, I'm stressed. There's just no other way to put it.
Everyone around me knows it. It's directly related to how tired I am. And when I'm stressed, I eat. And I shop. I have noticed a pattern in my life since I was about 19 years old, that when I'm lacking something, I make up for it with stuff. And its a quality in myself that I don't like. And I know that I'm doing it, but I can't seem to stop. I'm so tired that I can't be motivated to do a damn thing. Cooking? I feel like a champ if I do it once a week. Cleaning? I feel like a champ if I do it once a month. Running? HAHAHAHA. Good one. Projects? Well I got my patio done and I am in love. (Pictures later) But that was easy because all I had to do was BUY a lot of stuff. Took care of the stress shopping bit.
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| Literally thinking this right now as I quickly try and finish this post while Stevie clings to my leg screaming at me. |
I keep telling myself When THIS happens, then THAT will be better...
When Stevie starts sleeping through the night, then my energy levels will be better. I will start running and I will get more done around the house! I will be a more patient mom and wife and person!
When my new blog website is done, then my personal work will be better. I will set up a schedule so I have time to actually work from home and I will organize to make my desk a productive area!
When Stevie starts therapy, then he will be better. He will be an easier baby who can walk and talk and play. A lot of things will change. He will run around the park and be able to stand up if I need to pee at the market! I will be a fun mom who takes him to the zoo and kids museums and play places.
When Paul starts working closer to home, then life in general will be better. We will start exercising again and eating healthier and going to bed earlier!
When Stevie is more independent, then our home will be better. I will have more time to cook and clean and give my relationship with my husband more attention. We will leave the kid with a sitter and freakin' GO SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY.
Now if I was an inspirational speaker, I would say Well, why wait?! How long is it going to be before you wake up and say "Today is the day!
Today I'm going to get shit done!"?
Well I'm not an inspirational speaker. And I can tell you today is not the day. I'm too tired.
How do you handle stress?
5 comments:
I think we live parallel lives! I eat my feelings and I shop like no tomorrow then I am stressed out! And it shows...I'm at my heaviest weight and I have a package on my doorstep every day! Eep! My house is a constant disaster and I don't remember when I last cooked a meal at home. Exercise is not even an option in my mind, but I know once I get on track things will all fall into place and I'll be asking myself why I waited so long!? UGH
Good luck! I hope things settle for you soon!
i bet you are getting sick of being patient for these things? take a deep breath. it probably won't help, but just do it anyway. love you sissy, you're doing a good job, even if it might not feel like it at times. have you tried making a to do list? that would help me once in a while. or like a little check list of things to do during the day to keep you going. i use exercise as a stress relief, but i understand what it's like, like you said. it does help get the blood pumping though and wake you up a bit? i don't know. i think things are on the up slide though! hopefully! <3 you!
amazing post :)
I really like it!!
http://bubblemylicorice.blogspot.com/
I am in awe of you and often think to myself, "how does she do it?" I suffer from all of the above and don't even have a child!!! I selfishly love to read your posts because you inspire me (and others too, I'm sure!). By blogging (venting) and keeping such a fantastic journal of your lives, you are already doing one of the most cathartic things possible. One other thing that I would strongly recommend is mindful meditation, which I've been meaning to get back into. There are lots of options for this, which I would be happy to chat about :) Keep smiling cutie!
Hey there, friend. I often find myself thinking these same things. I wish there was an easy answer to it all, but I'm positive there isn't... but at the same time, I also think its' not bad to look forward to things and events and actually have a plan. I think it's easy to say "be happy now" (and we should!), but it's a nice to be reminded that there are better things ahead too. I'm not saying forget about the little things now. It's the little things that make the biggest difference to me. Just that it's nice to have something to look forward to.
But, how I love retail therapy. A little too much, actually. I wish I knew the answer to that one.
I like what your sister said about exercise being a stress relief. I wish it was for me... but I do think a clean house is a stress relief for me. (weird?) If my house is clean -or at least picked up and organized) I feel so much better.
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