I Have What You Might Call A "Problem"

Don't get my wrong. I still bought everyone Christmas gifts and didn't have to leave anyone out to satisfy my own cravings; But I spent so much money on myself this Christmas!

I will be out looking for the perfect gift for someone and realize it's also just what I wanted! Even though I've never necessarily needed it before, I definitely need it now. So let's get two. And maybe one extra in a different color - just in case someone else pops up on the shopping list. While inside, I have every intention to keep it for myself. The next time I go shopping, I tell myself "OK. Only gifts for other people. You don't need anything." And I walk out of Macy's with the same problem. Probably because there was an amazing sale. But there is an amazing sale like once a month!

My husband just laughs at this point - until I start cleaning out my closet. I do that about every 6 months. I love that cleansing process. And he understands when I get rid of the things that are outdated or things that don't fit. But it drives him crazy when I get rid of things I never wear and now realize I never will. That makes him furious. And I completely understand why. It makes no sense and is so wasteful. But I can't stand to hang onto things that I don't like. Gotta make room for the stuff that rocks!

I have thought many times about where my shopping addiction comes from and I think its a variety of things. First, its just the fact that I can shop. Growing up, we never had very much money so I mostly lived on hand-me-downs and thrift store goods. Which isn't bad. I had a lot of great stuff. But I have just grown to love a real store. Secondly, as a teenager and young adult, I was never comfortable with my body and felt that nothing ever fit. So shopping was just a major frustrating challenge. Now that I know my size and what works for my figure, I find things that fit more often than not. And when it fits well, I get all excited and feel like I've got to have it! Thirdly, living and working in L.A. and seeing all sides of the fashion triangle, I like to try and keep up. I have never been one to really care too much about image and what people think, but I do like to leave the house feeling good about myself. It makes a big difference in your day. And you have to admit when you respect yourself and the way you look, other people respect you too.

The excessiveness has also spread to other areas of my life - make-up, music, movies, jewelry. Just overdoing it across the board. Probably because that stuff ALWAYS fits.

So, there ya go. It all makes sense. But that doesn't mean its a good thing. I still need to relax my debit card. I think I've literally almost worn through the plastic! I guess there's always that New Year's Resolution to make...